Saturday, June 5, 2010

Subject Online

I am drunk. Pretty drunk. Been drinking Coopers green for a while now and listening to Dntel, which has somehow stopped playing without me noticing. I've had a shithouse night. Arrived home at 10:15 after driving from Perth to home. Went to my cousin's party to only be stared at and ignored for over an hour. I have no idea why I waited around for an hour. I felt like that weird guy at the back of the children's party wearing a suspicious trenchcoat. I felt like a pet running around the house with the others, never really part of the conversation, but there enough to be in someone's way.
I should have done something cool. I wish I could do or be something cooler than what I am. I dreamt of conversing with the guests that I was in a band, and we were touring around Europe next month. Or even having some kind of slippery arch on the soles of my shoe, so I could surf the stair hand rails as I exited; at least the exit would have been cool. Instead, I stood around in my slightly overweight physique, feeling like an idiot as I listened to everyone talking about someone they all knew. And my awesome exit? I reversed a bit too fast and scratched the host's car, which caused all of the people on the balcony to rush over and inspect the massive, 1cm damage I had caused with my excessive breaking. From this night, I am thankful I have a cousin like Hannah. Standing up for me, asking if I was alright, trying to include me.
She, at one point, asked me to sit down nearer to the main point of conversation. What I didn't realize was I had just stolen a young girl's seat by doing this. I had defiled her nesting area. Disgusted, I saw her sit on the couch I once sat on, over the other side of the room. I could tell she thought I was a total anal twitch for what I did, like I did it on purpose. Luckily she actually turned out to be a decent person before I left. Quite a nice girl. If I could pick up, or had any skill in doing that, I would have at least tried to. Unfortunately, I have the gift of the gut, and manage to make some really, really good friends. Seriously, really good friends. It's like you're stuck in a desert looking for water, and you find milk instead. Useless and quite sickening.
That pretty much sets the tone for this Blog. I'm going to post about all my failures and love failures. They have made great stories before, and I figure if there's one thing we all love to hear, it's about someone dying a little inside.

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